Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
