You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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