WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
