I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's blow job season.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
