Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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