Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
