If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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