He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
