pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
