so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
