you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize