a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize