Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize