This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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