That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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