Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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