well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
