I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
