the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.