woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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