And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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