I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
