I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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