Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
