look no pants
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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