dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
