My nipple is on Facebook.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
