Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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