I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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