My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
