Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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