the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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