I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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