so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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