Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
