PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
