what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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