Say something about gay babies.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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