Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
