i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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