Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
someone owes me an orgasm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
