Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I want a musical about memes.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
