You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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