I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
