I want you more than these girls want KFC
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
