it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
