So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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