went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
