I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
