I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That accounts for only three of the penises
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
