You're so nebulous sometimes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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