Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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