I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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