the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
