I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
