if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
