How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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