PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my shit smells like andre
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
