Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
