She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
