Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
