addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
