It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
