Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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